no cats allowed

Have you heard about the gatecrashers at Hiroshima Onomichi City Museum of Art?  The security guards have had to turn two of them away multiple times.  They're very persistent, but they simply cannot come in.  They haven't bought tickets, and - oh, right - they're cats.  Ken-chan, and the ginger copycat Go-chan, stroll from their nearby homes to the automatic doors of the museum, wait for them to open, and make a break for it.  So far the staff have caught them every time - and often on video, where you can see their hijinks on Twitter.

a cat's fond, funny sendoff

In which a cat has ceased to be, and his or her human smiles and praises through the tears.

TO A DEAD CAT.
So thou art dead, fair, fondest cat!
Whom more than horse or dog
I loved, because thou wert the best
In nature’s cat-alogue.

No matter what hour I came home,
Thou never showed’st surprise,
Nor reasons for my being late
Wou‘ld’st ever cat-echize.

While, were I wed, my staying out
Would meet with criticism
From angry spouse, and, I’ve no doubt,
Of tears a cat-aclysm.

And now the cat-enation long
Death breaks twixt thee and me,
And I am left alone to weep
O’er this cat-astrophe.

So good-bye—since a cat-acomb
Must hold thy youth and grace,
The motto I’ll place o’er thy grave
Is “Requies-cat in pace.”

Colton, Charles Joseph, 1868-1916. Volume of Various Verse. New Orleans: Press of Searcy & Pfaff, 1899. p. 87.

jolly verse for a fat cat, 1917

thanks pixabay (cat is a model, i don't have to feed this one)
(thank goodness)

IN HONOUR OF TAFFY TOPAZ

TAFFY, the topaz-coloured cat,
Thinks now of this and now of that,
But chiefly of his meals.
Asparagus, and cream, and fish,
Are objects of his Freudian wish;
What you don't give, he steals.

His gallant heart is strongly stirred
By clink of plate or flight of bird,
He has a plumy tail;
At night he treads on stealthy pad
As merry as Sir Galahad
A-seeking of the Grail.

His amiable amber eyes
Are very friendly, very wise;
Like Buddha, grave and fat,
He sits, regardless of applause,
And thinking, as he kneads his paws,
What fun to be a cat!

-- Morley, Christopher, 1890-1957. Songs for a Little House. New York: George H. Doran co, 1917. p. 25.

in which a cat is exhorted to vacate a chair, c 1814

thanks pixabay (CC0 Creative Commons)

In the poem below, the living Cat, and the Cat living at Bristol, is one and the same, and he's named Cropps.  Just so you know going in.

LINES
Addressed to a living Cat, and to a Cat living at Bristol.
(Written at Bristol at the Request of her Mistress.)

O CAT! thy virtues to rehearse,
Does honor to my feeble verse;
Sure never cat was like to thee,
Such qualities in you I see;
So kind, so faithful, and so good,
You must be born of noble blood;
So restless after rats and mice,
You scent, then kill 'em in a trice,
If at them you can get, and if not,
Your mistress moves away the black pot
At your request, who, purring, ask

Her to perform that grateful task.
You watch your mistress while asleep,
And on her breast most faithful keep.
O, Cropps! still may you long survive
All other cats that near you live;
When they lie mould'ring in the dust,
May you drink milk to quench your thirst;
While they are rotting in the grave,
May you the house from vermin save;
But that you may, be careful, Cropps,
When into chair your master pops,
You swiftly from that chair descend,
Lest crush'd you are and meet your end.
A burnt child dreads the sight of fire,
And you did nearly once expire;
By stopping in the chair too long.
When down your master sat so strong;
Be careful, then, of master's chair —
I'll say no more to you this year.

-- from Prince, J. H. b. 1770. Eccentric Effusions, Consisting of Poems, Humorous, Satirical, Sentimental And Moral. London, 1814. pp. 65-6.

doodlecats

found at discardingimages.tumblr.com

These scribbled little buddies hang out in a manuscript of theological miscellany dating from the 15th century (Saint-Denis, Paris, Bibliothèque Mazarine, ms. 988, fol. 124r).  I tried to find the original manuscript page to link and show you, but I do not search well in French, it turns out.  Here is the link to the Bibliotheque Mazarine - I bet you'll do better than I did!

"my ninth cat keeps calling you and hanging up"

thanks pixabay 

Something lighthearted today:  a random find at McSweeney's Internet Tendency.
"My sixteenth cat lies and lies.  My seventeenth cat keep anonymously commenting 'looks stupid' on YouTube videos of cute babies." 
It goes downhill from there.  "What My Pets Say About Me," by Jeff Alberts.

a kitten muses on a puppy

It's been a great while since I featured anything by that jolly celebrant of all things cat and kitten, Oliver Herford.  Here is a selection from his book The Kitten's Garden of Verses, in which the creature known as a Puppy is considered:

The Puppy
The Puppy cannot mew or talk,
He has a funny kind of walk,
His tail is difficult to wag
And that's what makes him walk zigzag.

He is the Kitten of a Dog,
From morn till night he's all agog —
Forever seeking something new
That' s good but isn't meant to chew.

He romps about the Tulip bed,
And chews the Flowers white and red,
And when the Gardener comes to see
He's sure to blame mamma or me.

One game that cannot ever fail
To please him is to chase his tail—
(To catch one's tail, 'twixt me and you,
Is not an easy thing to do.)

If he has not a pretty face
The Puppy's heart is in its place.
I'm sorry he must grow into
A Horrid, Noisy Dog, aren't you?

-- Herford, Oliver, 1863-1935. The Kitten's Garden of Verses. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1911. 39-40.

cat prudes

Yes, I'm betting this is the only time you'll ever see those words in a phrase - as found in this wacky 1809 poem below.  A monody, originally a Greek lyric sung by a single performer, has come to mean a lament for a death - possibly the mysterious Dick of the last line.

A MONODY

CATS who frail nymphs in gay assemblies guard,
As buckram stifl, and bearded like the pard;
Calumnious cats, who circulate faux paux,
And reputations maul with murd’rous claws.
Shrill cats, whom fierce domestic brawls delight,
Cross cats, who nothing want but teeth to bite;
Starch cats, of puritanic aspect sad,
And learned cats, who talk their husbands mad:
Confounded cats, who cough, and creek, and cry,
And maudlin cats, who drink eternally:
Prim cats, of countenance and mien precise,
Yet oft’ner hankering for men than mice.
Curst cats, whom nought has castigation checks,
Penurious cats, who buy their coals by peeks;
Fastidious cats, who pine for costly cates,
And jealous cats, who catechise their mates;
Cat prudes, who when they’re ask'd the question, squall,
And ne’er give answer categorical;
Uncleanly cats, who never pare their nails,
Cat gossips, full of Canterbury tales;
Cat grandams, vex’d with asthmas and catarrhs,
And superstitious cats, who curse their stars;
Cats, who their favours barter for a bribe,
And canting cats, the worst of all the tribe;
And faded virgin cats, and tabbies old,
Who at quadrille remorseless mouse for gold;
Cats of each class, craft, calling, and degree,
Mourn Dick’s calamitous catastrophe.

from  The Humourist's Miscellany: Containing Original and Select Articles of Poetry, on Mirth, Humour, Wit, Gaiety and Entertainment. To which is Prefixed, the Celebrated Lecture on Heads; by G. A. Stevens. London: Second Edition 1804. 95.

a cat becomes queen

thanks hathitrust (PD)

This morning I'm giving you a spoiler:  this is the last page of a funny little book from 1899 titled Dunigan's Tortoiseshell Cat: or, the Life of Queen Tab and her Kitten.  Only a few pages long, the verse narrative follows a scrappy mama cat as she finds a job with the local miller, slays vermin, sees her child become a beloved playmate of the miller's son, and generally wins every which way.  Want to have a few minutes of feel-good pep talk from a surprising source?  Have a look, why don't you? (Quick note: the link given by HathiTrust jumps right into the book's middle - page back for full effect.)

an interpretation: spiral kitty

see below for image attribution

Land art is art created in nature, with natural materials, and portrays a different way of looking at the land itself.  The term was created by artist Robert Smithson (American, 1938-73), whose work Spiral Jetty remains one of the best and widest known examples.  Made within the confines of the Great Salt Lake, it was submerged in 1972, but recent drought has brought it back to accessibility.

I've found a charming series of teaching videos from Homesession Barcelona in which works of modern art are interpreted by cats.  In the link below, educational assistants Haruki and Alvaro are happy to interact with their particular recreation of Spiral Jetty:
Spiral Kitty.
The art doesn't submerge under water, but it does go somewhere!  And you'll want to hang on to discover more with Haruki and Alvaro.

Image attribution: By Sculpture: Robert Smithson 1938-1973 Image:Soren.harward at en.wikipedia (Transferred from en.wikipedia to Commons.) [Public domain or CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

vintage wordless wednesday

thanks ampersand

a huge collection of contemporary cat art - and all he did was ask

Clive Barker sent a drawing of a demon-eared cat, with wide eyes and full lips - not scary, but playful.
Jonathan Richman sent a watercolor of a sweet grey kitty chilling on a street corner.
Roy DeForest sent a cat portrait collage.
Tony Menodoza sent a photo of Ernie.
...And R. Crumb - this is when I squealed out loud - wrote a letter with a detailed drawing of his cat Bernie.
What lucky duck got this and more?  Patrick Eddington, a high school art teacher in Utah.  He'd write any creative person who struck his fancy, writers and visual artists alike, and ask if they'd share a cat-themed work with him.  He called it the "Cat Project."
It worked.
Mr. Eddington passed away earlier this year, and his collection went up for auction.  Part of the proceeds are to benefit Best Friends Animal Sanctuary, as he always meant it to do.  I know you'll enjoy the randomness of what was on offer, and you must see the Crumb letter.

the pet seal

thanks archive.org (PD)

I couldn't resist one more tale from Percy J. Billingshurst.  (I wish he would give names, dates, etc. Hard to fact check him.)  Today we meet a seal turned landlubber and liking it. . .

ANECDOTE LXI

A DOMESTICATED SEAL

A gentleman once succeeded in taming a seal. It appeared to possess all the sagacity of the dog, lived in its master's house, and ate from his hand. He usually took it with him in his fishing excursions, upon which occasions it afforded no small entertainment. When thrown into the water, it would follow for miles the track of the boat; and although thrust back by the oars, it never relinquished its purpose. Indeed, it struggled so hard to regain its seat, that one would imagine its fondness for its master had entirely overcome the natural predilection for its native element.

-- from Billinghurst, Percy J.  Anecdotes of Animals. London, New York: John Lane, the Bodley Head, 1901, pp. 122-3.

"i said, i'm hungry"

thanks archive.org (PD)

From Percy J. Billinghurst's charming 1901 collection, A Hundred Anecdotes of Animals, comes this tale and illustration of a hungry, crafty puss.

Anecdote XV.

The Dinner-Bell.

It is customary in large boarding-houses to announce the dinner-hour by the sound of a bell. A cat belonging to one of these houses always hastened to the hall on hearing the bell, to get its accustomed meal; but it happened one day that she was shut up in a chamber, and it was in vain for her that the bell had sounded. Some hours after, having been released from her confinement, she hastened to the hall, but found nothing left for her. The cat thus disappointed got to the bell, and sounding it, endeavoured to summon the family to a second dinner, in which she doubted not to participate.

-- from Billinghurst, Percy J.  Anecdotes of Animals. London, New York: John Lane, the Bodley Head, 1901, pp. 30-31

friday fun, courtesy of 1903

A Raging, Roaring Lion, of a Lamb-devouring kind, 

Reformed and led a sweet, submissive life.

For with face all steeped in smiles

He propelled a Lamb for miles,

And he wed a woolly Spinster for a wife.

You need to see the excellent illustration for that - and you can, on page 11 of Joseph Greene Francis's  A book of cheerful cats and other animated animals (New York: The Century Co., 1903).
Here's the link to it at Internet Archive, where you may page through it there or download it for your superlatively goofy pleasure.  Plenty of innocent silliness and critters caught in non-sequiturs!

a large dog is no respecter of judges

Landseer, A Distinguished Member of the Humane Society, 1831. (PD)

Here's a story about John Philpot Curran, Master of the Rolls in Ireland (1750-1817), who for all his wit and legal acumen was unable to persuade a dog on one very memorable occasion:
* * *

Curran, who was always punctual when invited to a dinner-party, had received one day a special invitation; but the patience of everybody was long exhausted, when the guests concluded he must have been drowned, and all the stableboys went out with lanterns to search for his body in the river. After many disappointments a maid at last discovered him stark naked and shivering in a bedroom where he had gone to take a bath. The Newfoundland dog of the house was lying watching him, and ready to spring the moment he moved, as it did not know him when stripped of his usual dress. He had been kept at bay in this situation for some hours, and was afraid to stir lest the avenging guardian should seize him by the throat. At last the master of the house appeared upon the scene, and rescued the naked figure from premature destruction, put him to bed under a heavy pile of blankets and administered brandy and water hot, by which means he was sufficiently brought round to relate his hairbreadth escape.

-- Engelbach, A. Harold. (1913). Anecdotes of bench and bar. London: G. Richards. 191-2.

cats: getting in your stuff since...ever

discarding images, via pinterest

Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library, MS 404, fol. 156v:  it's difficult to get any hand-spinning done when you're trying to get the cat away from a bowl of delicious whatever.

-- Fun fact: According to the breakdown of the manuscript at the Beinecke, fol.156v is one of a set of pages containing "Excerpts from Proverbs 11.1-15.4."  

friday foolishness

Image taken from page 134 of Woodland Romances; or, Fables and Fancies

(PD)

 

 

 

This silly scene isn't pet-related, I know.  I came across it while I was finishing up this latest side project, and it was too delightful not to share for Friday.  So TGIF to you all.

"the dog of reflection"

from the british library flickr collection (PD)

From a children's poetry collection dated 1903 - we revisit the fable of the dog and his reflection:

THE DOG OF REFLECTION.
A dog growing thinner, for want of a dinner,
Once purloin'd a joint from a tray;
"How happy I am, with this shoulder of lamb!"
Thought the cur, as he trotted away.

But the way that he took, lay just over a brook,
Which he found it was needful to cross,
So, without more ado, he plunged in to go through,
Not dreaming of danger or loss.

But what should appear, in this rivulet clear,
As he thought upon coolest reflection,
But a cur like himself, who with ill-gotten pelf,
Had run off in that very direction.

Thought the dog, a propos! but that instant let go
(As he snatched at this same water-spaniel).
The piece he possess'd — so, with hunger distress 'd,
He slowly walk'd home to his kennel.

Hence, when we are needy, don't let us be greedy
(Excuse me this line of digression).
Lest in snatching at all, like the dog, we let fall
The good that we have in possession.
 --Jeffreys Taylor

Ingpen, R. (1903). One thousand poems for children: a new choice of the best verse old & new. Philadelphia: Jacobs. 29.

there was a lady loved a swine, 1810

PD. thanks thegraphicsfairy.com

Enjoy this fanciful verse from a collection of nursery poems dated 1810, won't you?  I know I did.

THE LADY AND THE SWINE.
There was a lady lov'd a swine,
Honey, quoth she,
Pig-hog, wilt thou be mine?
Hoogh, quoth he.

I'll build thee a silver stye,
Honey, quoth she,
And in it thou shalt lye;
Hoogh, quoth he.

Pinn'd with a silver pin,
Honey, quoth she,
That thou may go out and in,
Hoogh, quoth he.

Wilt thou now have me now,
Honey? quoth she,
Hoogh, hoogh, hoogh, quoth he,
And went his way.

- from Ritson, J. (1810). Gammer Gurton's garland: or, the nursery Parnassus; a choice collection of pretty songs and verses, for the amusement of all little good children who can neither read nor run. London: Printed for R. Triphook by Harding and Wright. 2-3.