"i will not poop uncontrollably in front of strangers"

This is a line item in the lengthy Bad Rat Pledge, brought to you by the enthusiasts at The Dapper Rat. It sounds like a good general rule of thumb for all mammals, as do these:

• Diving down my human's shirt and scratching them with my nails just to hear them squeal is not an acceptable game.
• I will not throw bedding out of my cage at the cat.
• I must remember that human skin simply does not have the traction required for vertical climbs.
• I will not pee in my dry food mix.

More a jolly odyssey through the ins and out of daily life with rats than a "how to" rat guide, The Dapper Rat is filled with gems such as the rat song parodies page. There you may find for your singalong pleasure "Neutering Rhapsody," based on Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.

Be sure and stop by the tour de force called the Grotto: The Great Rodent Residence of Tasteful Transcendental Opulence.